Those of you who have been following my blogs know by now that the idea of helping men to rethink masculinity is to enable men to begin to deconstruct the values enshrined in the patriarchal ideology and it’s dominance in our institutions, organisations and education. The thrust is that patriarchy makes men narcissistic and therefore by definition reduces men’s capacity to clearly experience our own emotions.
Patriarchy stops us from feeling for ourselves. This is evident when men move into forms of needless sacrifice through aggression and violence. Now, if we want to begin to prevent the prolific use of violence in our culture we need, and yes here we go again, ‘boys we do need to be more in touch with our own feelings and be more attuned to the emotions of others’. And here lies one of the great challenges I have working with men.

How can we help men increase their emotional awareness and range and increase their ability to empathise with others?

Any discussion examining the issue of masculinity that does not include a reflection on the importance of empathy in the evolution of men is missing the point.
Growing emphasis has been placed in educating young children to be more emphatic but we frequently make the assumption that adults cannot develop empathy further. You either got it or you don’t. Not true.

Research has shown repeatedly that empathy can be taught and enhanced throughout our lives.

So, where to start?

Roman Krznaric, the author of Empathy: Why it matters and how to get it, talks about Six habits of Highly Emphatic People.
• Habit 1: Cultivate curiosity about strangers
• Habit 2: Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities.
• Habit 3: Try another person’s life.
• Habit 4: Listen hard and open up.
• Habit 5: Inspire mass action and social change
• Habit 6: Develop an ambitious imagination.

The Challenge

Now here is my challenge to you:
1. Go to the article and read the details of the habits. (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1)
2. Try the habits for 30 days,
3. Think about how you may benefit from being part of Making Good Men Great.

Next

1. Teach your children by modeling what you are focusing on.
2. Bring it into your community by talking about it.
3. Take it into your work place and make it part of your values set.

Another Making Good Men Great Mentoring Group will start soon. For more information please call Rebecca on 02 9999 0429 or email rebecca@goodmengreat.com.