Trapped in a relentless flow of social and technological change, society is rapidly losing sight of what makes us human. Although most technological changes are heralded as tremendous advancements, much of it fails to live up to the marketing hype. Point in case is the ‘Digital Revolution’. Many so-called ‘advances’ have negative consequences, such as the easy access to pornography to the underaged or the smartphone addictions people have appeared to have developed. These only really manifest over time. History is filled with examples of what appeared to be good ideas in the moment. At some point the price for this ‘progress’ may well be too high.

 

Overwhelmed by accelerating change

The accumulation of knowledge is growing exponentially. So too is the speed at which change occurs. This means the threat to our individual and collective wellbeing also increases in speed and magnitude. Overwhelmed with the stress of change and weight of expectations, many people feel trapped in their efforts to just survive.

In the midst of this change we, as men, are rapidly moving into a decline – physically, psychologically, socially and spiritually.  As a simple  biological example, we are producing fewer sperm than 100 years ago (and they are less healthy).

Patriarchy is broken

‘Patriarchy’ is the traditional Masculine Paradigm – and it no longer works. From a psychological development point of view, it keeps us stuck in adolescence at a time when we need to be functional adults. To make matters worse, there is a lack of meaningful dialogue in our society about what it means to be a man.

Old assumptions must be challenged

Most Universities have very clearly delineated policies about women. Indeed, most have a vibrant Women’s study curriculum. Yet not one Tertiary Institution in Australia has anything remotely similar for men. Understandably, our response is that ‘men’ designed these institutions for themselves – so they are intrinsically ‘male centric’. However, the vision of maleness used is that of the traditional – patriarchal – stereotype, established by men of previous generations. This is as problematic for men as it has been for women.

Without examining the flawed assumptions behind institutional cultures, there can be no considered and well-argued dialogue. An example of this poor thinking is the way our society persistently attempts to argue for sex differences that have no scientific basis. Men are NOT from Mars and women are NOT from Venus as John Gary suggests. But we are also not the same.

The gender question is not settled

In the past there were clear and ridged ideas about gender differences. Gender is the cultural construction of what the biological or sexual differences between men and women means. It has been heavily influenced by patriarchy throughout all human cultures. As a result of the work done by women to support their liberation from these patriarchal constructs, there has been a dismantling of some of the more obvious stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. This has not only led to some confusion about gender and difference (an artefact of the idea that equality means sameness), it has also led some to believe that the problem is now solved.

Equal but still different

The first issue, of seeing men and women as the same, ignores natural, sexual or biological difference. Ignoring these differences is rationalised as a means of bolstering the idea of equality. However the idea that one must be the same as someone else, whether they are male or female, in order to be equal to them, misses the whole point of equality. The ideal of equality is about equal worth as a human being. The project of equality started when men began to argue that they were of equal worth with each other, irrespective of their wealth or background. Because biological difference had been used to oppress women, they argued that biological differences are irrelevant, which it IS in regards to being of equal worth. But it IS NOT to our lived experience of us as human beings.

The second problem is that many people believe that because the laws have changed, and women are seen to be equal with men under the law, there is no more need to pursue the issues that arise from gender stereotyping.  Most progressive thinkers would agree that this perspective is a biased position of white male dominance because the lived experience for women, regardless of the legal treatment of their equal status, is one of broad disadvantage, particularly compared to white men.  What is often overlooked however, is that the traditional constructs of masculinity still influence men’s lives as well, especially those of a new generation. This has led to a portrayal of men that is ambivalent at best and highly damaging at worst.

Seeing past male stereotypes

Two new stereotypes have emerged. That of the self-sufficient, driven, materially successful and competitive man who is admired, but also derided for not being nurturing and ‘present’ in relationships. Alternatively there is the less successful, less competitive man who is seen as being weak and bumbling, but more “in touch with his feminine side”. These men are often derided for the very qualities that they have been told they should embrace. Many men feel that they can never get it right.  Subsequently they withdraw. Yet, most of us try to be good men.

One of the worst aspects of this confusion is that bullying, bragging, reckless aggression, mindless greed, politicking and posturing haunt us as misguided ideas of manhood.  The alternatives have been little more than feminised ideas of masculinity.

So coming back to my original propositions: Men and masculinity are in trouble because we are attached to an antiquated model of how to be a man. To change we need to explore what it truly means to be and live as a man in the Digital Age; an age wherein societies are evolving to be more egalitarian. democratic, distributive and co-operative.

It is an age wherein technological advances should be in line with the individual and social evolution in step with the Enlightenment principles, where values and reason prevail over might.   

 

To read more about the core ideas of a new masculinity go to my newly released book Making Good Men Great: Surfing a New Masculinity available through https://www.amazon.com.au/Making-Good-Men-Great-Masculinity